Bed Of Lies

Bed Of Lies - Matchboxtwenty

No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning, I am

Don't think that I can take another empty moment
Don't think that I can fake another hollow smile
It's not enough just to be sorry
Don't think that I could take another talk about it

Just like me you got needs
And they're only a whisper away
And we softly surrender
To these lives that we've tendered away

No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning, I am

Don't wanna be the one who turns the whole thing over
Don't wanna be somewhere where I just don't belong
Where it's not enough just be sorry
Don't you know I feel the darkness closing in

Tried to be more than me
And I gave till it all went away
And we've only surrendered
To the worst part of these winters we've made

No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I am I am all that I'll ever be

When you - lay your hands
Over me but don't go weak on me now
I know that it's weak
But God help me I need this

I will not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I'm marking it down to learning'
Cause I am

Gratitude over small mercies

Sometimes it's perfectly alright in believing something unreal to be almost real. When you're vulnerable, all the little things that make you happy or smile, just take it. Count all the tiny blessings that you have. Yes, this thing I have is unreal, made up, too good to be true. But it makes me happy and I'm hanging on to it with no hope or expectations whatsoever. I'm blessed and grateful for all the little things that puts a smile on my face.

Reality check

It's been so long since I write in my blog. I can come up with all kinds of excuses but I guess I choose not to. Because it just breaks my heart when I start pouring my heart out about how I feel or what's in my thoughts.

Yes, I am living in denial. There's no deny to that. Band aids can heal for so long, then it wears away. The scar will still be there. No amount of surgery can remove the scar. But I do acknowledge the fact that putting my thoughts and feelings down, helps alleviate some of the hurts I have. Some, although not all. Yes, it does help.

When you can't see where the road is ending, you're in a way....lost. Only you can search your direction. With determination, perseverance, courage and faith, somehow, you'll get there. Takes a lot of work, but I'll get there.